What is Love?- Is one of the hardest questions to ever understand till, they say, that one has not experienced it. Some say joy, some say pain. For some its strength and for others its weakness. Some say the guide to life, others would say the misery of life. Most of the people would agree that Love hurts.. It brings pain more than it brought happiness, because maybe there is the human tendency to always remember the sorrows of ones life and not the joys.
Love happens in various ways, when two people meet for the first time,love at first sight...when we are together with someone in the same class or group, and frequent interactions start shaping into some feeling... a complete stranger who we meet online and after some chats, start liking their company, and so shapes up into a feeling...in the above said, not always are the feelings mutual, sometimes there are one sided feelings--but it can not be termed as "Love" is a wrong notion. Why we love has to be understood in the scientific (hormones) and psychological (emotions) way, which go hand-in-hand.
Love is a feeling that makes us get a strange attraction towards someone, which comes as a gush.. and it brings a hard impact, we feel attracted, we want to be together always, share and talk, and we also picture a future together (whether there is any or not). Love comes in attraction of two kinds, physical and mental. The former is when body desires and latter is when we feel the mere existence of the person is sufficient. Normally its believed that True Love is always of the latter form. But the biggest chaos is, that when we feel attracted to someone, later, sometimes, we lose it..here is the infatuation syndrome. Love and infatuation start with the same initial impact, but later one withers away and the other remains forever. This is one of the hardest thing to understand, and only time tells that the attraction is in which pretext?
For many people, love relies on the looks of the person, its very true to say that one's physical outlook is what appeals primarily to people and then we go to the level to see the "beautiful mind and heart". Many are rejected on the grounds of being not physically beautiful or charming. So for those who do so, basically the partner is not a person they want to share their space with but a mere object of decoration. Having good looks is not bad, but being rejected just merely for looks is bad. To those, who have some physical disability, there is only hope that someone who doesn't focus on this, will accept them. A truly loving partner will never focus on the physical disabilities that one has.
When we are in Love (real or infatuation), we feel that every magical thing will happen. All that which is impossible becomes possible. Everything, whether they are social norms or social patterns are meant to be broken for the sake of Love. Yet only very few are readily willing to do so. We feel that who we are in love with, is more fun, trustworthy, and better to be with,to those whom we were with previously so many years, our loved ones. Here one forgets that love means building new ties but it doesnt mean breaking old ones. Many times when people sacrifice their feelings for the old ties, trouble comes in, it should be well balanced.
Luck plays an important part in love. Luck only those people will talk about who have already faced some sort of loss in the love game. Now there has been a phenomena, where people fall in love with many at the same time, being in a relationship with one and falling for another also, this is true or infatuation is again one very hard thing to understand. For many, it is wrong or unethical, as that would hurt many feelings, the person you were with and the person you like now. It could merely be an infatuation or short-time attraction, for various causes. But the mind plays games and so love is also a game., here maybe what one should understand that before jumping to conclusions and taking actions on it, just wait and watch. Give it some time and see what happens. Time tells us alot and as it also has the healing factor, anything, after a long interval, no pain remains that miserable.
The tragic part is that inspite the notion, that it depends on individuals and distinct scenarios, Love is still one emotion that can bring chaos in ones life. There is no stereotypical way, but there is a generality, ie. Love Hurts. Strange part is that when love causes pain, its considered to be a great love story, every great love story has pain and separation. Though we also know that time heals, it still hurts alot. Many, would look out for someone else, so that they can get over the sorrow, many just stay in it. We always expect the unthinkable to happen. Love also for many, brings revenge.Love has the power to bring the catastrophe in ones life very silently. There is no loud noise, but feelings are shattered. Death can be the outcome also.
Terms such as Flirts or Casanova- why have they emerged? For some it is just a matter of play, where love becomes a game and they feel happy in playing with feelings of others. However, there are others who, dont seem to get what they desired for and still search for it. The mind always feels the urge to get someone to fulfill its desires, whether its on the physical or mental level. Looking out for the satisfaction. We are with someone, but then start liking another one-- if this was merely for fun then, its wrong,( termed on the basis, that no one has any right to play with or hurt the feelings of others,) but if this was due to the mental dissatisfaction with the former partner, then would it be right would to term as flirt, Casanova, etc. Many are rejected several times and so they keep looking for new mates and many are just jumping to various partners just to search for that mental satisfaction.
It hurts alot in the following, when the partner has left you in search for someone else, or the partner refuses to love you in return/rejects your feelings, or the realisation that one was simply cheated and used.. But many of us still await the return."When someone loves you, you should love them in return," or that "when someone truly loves the person, they after a while will come back to you, as its true love always wins" love can this really be a proper notion? For those who are hurt or still have hope, will agree, but others will not. Is it so easy to start loving someone, out of sympathy? and to those who do get loved and get their partners in that way, is it really the victory of Love? One has become nothing else but an option. When the person you like has drifted away from you for someone else, or just doesnt feel that you are appropriate for them,When someone has used you for merely their interest, then where does the self-respect go that we await them and still urge for them? Most of us are weak to our feelings and Love, and may lose our identity and respect, just for the sake of it.
To those who reject others on certain grounds, they forget that they are only able to do so as the person they are doing so whole-heartedly loves them. How will they feel if the same happened to them? But, this is never the case as people who are hurt only know how it feels and so they dont hurt others, people who have never felt the pain, never feel it. One cant love someone just for the sake that they love them but at least one should give it a try.Never to forget that someone who loves you alot will never hurt you and so such people should be given their due respect. Also there is a tendency that when one searches for love, one forgets and looks beyond those who really love them. Just look around and see,maybe someone next to you, might be loving you alot and you are too busy searching. We always look for what we dont have and forget what we have.....
When there is separation on the grounds of failure due to social issues, future pressures and death, the pain is in another form, that which yearns the past memories and hopes that the moments were relived again. Society has always played a role in failure of many relationships as society, especially in the Indian context is based on rigid grounds which very few are ready to go against. We tend to stay in the limits defined to us, on moral and ethical grounds. One should not go against them just for the sake of doing it, but yet, as long as no other person is harmed, there is no harm in thinking for the better of the self. This cant be termed as selfishness.
Love is a funny thing, because it makes us what we never were, it moulds us to think what we never thought about or even had the idea to think about. Love is a funny thing, because despite being so complex, one falls prey to it, unlike other things, when we know its dangerous and keep a safe distance to it. Love catches all. Unlike anything that happens to us, when we are in Love, we remain uncertain whether we are. Love is a funny thing, because opposites attract when they are most liable to break apart. Love is a funny thing, because it has the power to bring turmoil in lives, in the most silent manner. Love is a funny thing, because there is no way to define it, no typical way for it to happen, and no way to predict its outcome.
Author's note to Readers- I have written the above blog on my personal experiences and all that I was exposed to around me. I do not intend to hurt any personal feelings. This has been composed on a general basis and does not imply to anyone specifically. Please feel free to leave comments.
