HOPE...is it for the Better or Worse?

Is Hope always a good thing?? I do not agree. Not to be pessimistic here, but having a more practical outlook...

When anything goes wrong, when anything does not happen, as we wished it would, when we are uncertain of the consequences, we Hope. But is this Hope an inspiration or just cowardliness ( in the sense that it is an escape to accept the reality on the desires of something better) ?

The famous saying goes as "The World lies on Hope". We always feel that the better is yet to come. No doubt that we all have faced the bad phase of life and the good is also to come, but as Human Habit has it, we see the bad more than the good, and also remember the bad times more than the good times.

It is good to be hopeful, but where is the limit? Why to hope for things which are not in ones hands? Being Hopeful is good, as it can make someone, do better than they would have. It can change perspectives, but it cant change ones LIFE.

If a man is suffering from some disease, he hopes to get better, but if there is no cure... then what??? Will it not affect the person later, when he realizes how his Hope did not bear any fruit?To all those people, who will argue that Hoping does not always mean to attain ones desires, to them, I say, then what is the reason for Hoping, if one does not expect results?

Hoping for the unrealistic things to happen, which practically are impossible, would be nothing more than Foolishness. Keeping such hopes high, brings nothing more than more sorrow, when each day makes us realize that what we wish to have is far away from reach.

Many times people, hope for the person they love to love them in return, even after the person has refused, but they still keep hoping, that one day, their true love will win. They still hope that the person will return to them after recognizing their true love........ such a hope, how is it for better? when its making someone suffer everyday?? Hoping for impossible things only making you suffer and not anyone else, and when we realize that it bore no fruit, then, theres only pain, which can lead one to take drastic steps.... and in such a case Hope was nothing more than added trouble.

As said earlier, there is a limit one should be hopeful about and not about things which are not in our control. You can determine your actions, but you can not control others, destiny and fate!!

Love is a funny thing...

What is Love?- Is one of the hardest questions to ever understand till, they say, that one has not experienced it. Some say joy, some say pain. For some its strength and for others its weakness. Some say the guide to life, others would say the misery of life. Most of the people would agree that Love hurts.. It brings pain more than it brought happiness, because maybe there is the human tendency to always remember the sorrows of ones life and not the joys.

Love happens in various ways, when two people meet for the first time,love at first sight...when we are together with someone in the same class or group, and frequent interactions start shaping into some feeling... a complete stranger who we meet online and after some chats, start liking their company, and so shapes up into a feeling...in the above said, not always are the feelings mutual, sometimes there are one sided feelings--but it can not be termed as "Love" is a wrong notion. Why we love has to be understood in the scientific (hormones) and psychological (emotions) way, which go hand-in-hand.

Love is a feeling that makes us get a strange attraction towards someone, which comes as a gush.. and it brings a hard impact, we feel attracted, we want to be together always, share and talk, and we also picture a future together (whether there is any or not). Love comes in attraction of two kinds, physical and mental. The former is when body desires and latter is when we feel the mere existence of the person is sufficient. Normally its believed that True Love is always of the latter form. But the biggest chaos is, that when we feel attracted to someone, later, sometimes, we lose it..here is the infatuation syndrome. Love and infatuation start with the same initial impact, but later one withers away and the other remains forever. This is one of the hardest thing to understand, and only time tells that the attraction is in which pretext?

For many people, love relies on the looks of the person, its very true to say that one's physical outlook is what appeals primarily to people and then we go to the level to see the "beautiful mind and heart". Many are rejected on the grounds of being not physically beautiful or charming. So for those who do so, basically the partner is not a person they want to share their space with but a mere object of decoration. Having good looks is not bad, but being rejected just merely for looks is bad. To those, who have some physical disability, there is only hope that someone who doesn't focus on this, will accept them. A truly loving partner will never focus on the physical disabilities that one has.

When we are in Love (real or infatuation), we feel that every magical thing will happen. All that which is impossible becomes possible. Everything, whether they are social norms or social patterns are meant to be broken for the sake of Love. Yet only very few are readily willing to do so. We feel that who we are in love with, is more fun, trustworthy, and better to be with,to those whom we were with previously so many years, our loved ones. Here one forgets that love means building new ties but it doesnt mean breaking old ones. Many times when people sacrifice their feelings for the old ties, trouble comes in, it should be well balanced.

Luck plays an important part in love. Luck only those people will talk about who have already faced some sort of loss in the love game. Now there has been a phenomena, where people fall in love with many at the same time, being in a relationship with one and falling for another also, this is true or infatuation is again one very hard thing to understand. For many, it is wrong or unethical, as that would hurt many feelings, the person you were with and the person you like now. It could merely be an infatuation or short-time attraction, for various causes. But the mind plays games and so love is also a game., here maybe what one should understand that before jumping to conclusions and taking actions on it, just wait and watch. Give it some time and see what happens. Time tells us alot and as it also has the healing factor, anything, after a long interval, no pain remains that miserable.

The tragic part is that inspite the notion, that it depends on individuals and distinct scenarios, Love is still one emotion that can bring chaos in ones life. There is no stereotypical way, but there is a generality, ie. Love Hurts. Strange part is that when love causes pain, its considered to be a great love story, every great love story has pain and separation. Though we also know that time heals, it still hurts alot. Many, would look out for someone else, so that they can get over the sorrow, many just stay in it. We always expect the unthinkable to happen. Love also for many, brings revenge.Love has the power to bring the catastrophe in ones life very silently. There is no loud noise, but feelings are shattered. Death can be the outcome also.

Terms such as Flirts or Casanova- why have they emerged? For some it is just a matter of play, where love becomes a game and they feel happy in playing with feelings of others. However, there are others who, dont seem to get what they desired for and still search for it. The mind always feels the urge to get someone to fulfill its desires, whether its on the physical or mental level. Looking out for the satisfaction. We are with someone, but then start liking another one-- if this was merely for fun then, its wrong,( termed on the basis, that no one has any right to play with or hurt the feelings of others,) but if this was due to the mental dissatisfaction with the former partner, then would it be right would to term as flirt, Casanova, etc. Many are rejected several times and so they keep looking for new mates and many are just jumping to various partners just to search for that mental satisfaction.

It hurts alot in the following, when the partner has left you in search for someone else, or the partner refuses to love you in return/rejects your feelings, or the realisation that one was simply cheated and used.. But many of us still await the return."When someone loves you, you should love them in return," or that "when someone truly loves the person, they after a while will come back to you, as its true love always wins" love can this really be a proper notion? For those who are hurt or still have hope, will agree, but others will not. Is it so easy to start loving someone, out of sympathy? and to those who do get loved and get their partners in that way, is it really the victory of Love? One has become nothing else but an option. When the person you like has drifted away from you for someone else, or just doesnt feel that you are appropriate for them,When someone has used you for merely their interest, then where does the self-respect go that we await them and still urge for them? Most of us are weak to our feelings and Love, and may lose our identity and respect, just for the sake of it.

To those who reject others on certain grounds, they forget that they are only able to do so as the person they are doing so whole-heartedly loves them. How will they feel if the same happened to them? But, this is never the case as people who are hurt only know how it feels and so they dont hurt others, people who have never felt the pain, never feel it. One cant love someone just for the sake that they love them but at least one should give it a try.Never to forget that someone who loves you alot will never hurt you and so such people should be given their due respect. Also there is a tendency that when one searches for love, one forgets and looks beyond those who really love them. Just look around and see,maybe someone next to you, might be loving you alot and you are too busy searching. We always look for what we dont have and forget what we have.....

When there is separation on the grounds of failure due to social issues, future pressures and death, the pain is in another form, that which yearns the past memories and hopes that the moments were relived again. Society has always played a role in failure of many relationships as society, especially in the Indian context is based on rigid grounds which very few are ready to go against. We tend to stay in the limits defined to us, on moral and ethical grounds. One should not go against them just for the sake of doing it, but yet, as long as no other person is harmed, there is no harm in thinking for the better of the self. This cant be termed as selfishness.

Love is a funny thing, because it makes us what we never were, it moulds us to think what we never thought about or even had the idea to think about. Love is a funny thing, because despite being so complex, one falls prey to it, unlike other things, when we know its dangerous and keep a safe distance to it. Love catches all. Unlike anything that happens to us, when we are in Love, we remain uncertain whether we are. Love is a funny thing, because opposites attract when they are most liable to break apart. Love is a funny thing, because it has the power to bring turmoil in lives, in the most silent manner. Love is a funny thing, because there is no way to define it, no typical way for it to happen, and no way to predict its outcome.

Author's note to Readers- I have written the above blog on my personal experiences and all that I was exposed to around me. I do not intend to hurt any personal feelings. This has been composed on a general basis and does not imply to anyone specifically. Please feel free to leave comments.

To Trust or Not to Trust

Most of us chat and make friends online... and this is mostly done with the purpose of dating and friendship. Many times when we are lonely or tired with the friends we already have, we feel the urge to explore for new friends, and so the search begins....Social Networking sites are innumerable...After joining these places, we search for friends and partners.

When we join friends, we exchange scraps, blurbs, mails and messages, which are all online methods of communication. Next what is asked for is mobile number and photos (in case one has not uploaded any)... here one starts questioning that should there be a limit to this or should one be free to give out their number. Does face-value matter that photos are needed to be sent? What if this is misused? Now let us rewind a bit and answer the same, had we met a friend, whom we knew but lost contact with in the past months and they had asked for the same, would there be the same hesitance that we displayed now??? NO....... so why now??-- Its because there is a lack of trust....

Friendship or any relation in that matter, is built on trust, and that is very important.

We intend to trust people we see but those whom we dont see, we feel are untrustworthy. Is it so always?????????If we chat with someone or have been doing so for the past few years, then why not we trust the person? Many times, the people we have been with for years turn out as back-stabbers, whom we know and have regular acquaintances with. Then how is to be defined? Does Trust always bear its fruit with time?

If this was not the psychology amongst many of us, we would have not created the difference of having Real friends- those we meet and Virtual friends- those we met over chat and social sites. We would not consider chat friends as people whom we do not share our personal information with.Once we join such places, expecting privacy would really be a wrong choice as then in the first place itself one should not have done so. We would never meet chat friends and never keep any serious approach towards them. How fair would this be? here comes in the lack of trust... Why do we get so scared to send pictures? Why are we hesitant about exchanging numbers? Why do we reject the idea of meeting a chat friend? Why do we sign in by fake identity?

We dont trust people we meet online as we feel that they might not be what they show to be. We do not exchange numbers as we feel that they might misuse the number or start behaving unpleasantly..how could you forget the long hours of chat online? and how is that going to change if it becomes a telephonic conversation? This is after all the same person we chatted long hours online. Why are we so scared? when we give fake identities and numbers, is it not a sort of cheating also? Are we also not hurting the trust of others?

We hear cases of rapes, abuses, and so on, after getting drunk, drugged or a rendez-vous. We hear cases of people being cheated with their numbers and accounts being forged and misused. We hear cases of people getting robed, kidnapped and so on, after their address and so on came into wrong hands. True that these are real cases and such things do happen.... in such a place where nothing can be certain of and what we see could be false also,the age of Commercialization has played its role also. we have developed a tendency of doubting everything to play safe. There is nothing wrong in doing so.....because what we need to understand is that what we are exposed to shapes our thought. Had these not happened, the Trust factor would have remained.

There is a dilemma always, on whom to trust and whom not to. Everyone says that I am honest and trust me, but then later there are some of the same people who cheat us- whether real or virtual friends. When all say the same, it is very hard to believe as then, some who say mean it truly, while others just say it meaninglessly. In such a situation, people who are truly honest, suffer. They feel that their feelings and friendship is genuine, but the other person, always keeps doubting, now lets imagine, if we faced the same.. how would it feel? How it feels when we love someone and they in return refuses or rejects-- feels shattered...

Those who dont trust, should just give it a try, do not just blindly refuse on the basis of being chat friends. And those, who are in real just with the intention of playing and hurting others feelings should avoid doing so... what would you gain out of it? Those who are honest, and feel that their relationship is not justified on the grounds of lack of trust...should be understanding and realise that what happens around us, where nothing can be trusted, and the tendency is there, if you are really genuine, then keep trying till your honesty is realised.

All that has been said here, I have said out of my personal experience.. and this is what I want to share with people. I dont trust people easily but a few times when i have faced the same, is when I realised that when someone genuinely approaches and is rejected on the terms of mistrust-- it hurts.